Christmas Eve, 2009

Well, we've done it again.  We have, entirely on our own accord, circled the sun again and arrived at the same place we started.   (I apologize in advance, I have given up the pretense of being able to chat and just talk about the stuff here w/o analyzing it into pieces.  it is not in my nature....I need help, but until it arrives, it is what it is).   The two sojourners from Iowa have returned, Gary and Caroline have gone home for Christmas, and Nancy and I are holding down the fort, reading about the snow covered US, with cancelled flights, homes w/o power in the cold, and wondering exactly why anyone ever wanted to go home in the first place.  OH, that's right, family and such.   Yes, I do miss my son's every day.  I have taken to calling them semi regularly to keep in touch, it is so much better than just e mailing.  Yesterday and last night were cloudy, rainy and cold (by Haitian standards).   It likely got in to the upper 60's last night, and I am sure the Haitians, especially those up in the hills, wore every stitch of clothes they had to sleep in last night.   the sun is up today, clouds have cleared, and it is expected to be upper 90's tomorrow.   helps for the shower, once you have adjusted to the weather taking a really cold shower is no fun.  Nancy is making a cake to take down to the orphanage as a surprise for the kids there.  We will hit the store later today to get whatever for the next day, as stores do close for Christmas here. 

Back to the endless loop we are in; it seems again that I arrive at the same point with maybe not the same, but similar questions.  I fixed this, but where did that come from?  It amazes me that there seems to be no end to the living of life.   Knit one, curl two, or whatever that thing is.   Like one step forward, two backwards, 4 forwards, 3 backwards and you are right where you started.   I think I am begininng to understand Paul when he said he had learned to be fine with lot's or not much.  The days pass anyway so why worry?   God put's who He will in our path's and I try to deal with that as best I can.  The rest isn't really that important if you really think about it.  Or at least IMHO.   So some kids from school have moved on the the states this year, one has been kicked out due to persistent misconduct, another has had to leave for safety reasons.   The circumstances of life just aren't really in our control, and it begins to become background noise to me.   Maybe that is just me being cynical, if so, please don't inform me of this, as I am perfectly happy to go along with my suppositions just the way they are.  I do what I can with what God gives me, affect people the best I can, and try to leave the rest alone.   I have glimpsed a part of what people can do (and I confess I am a people, too) when they get to far along in truly believing they know much about anything.   But I guess being aware of it helps me understand the truth of really not knowing much of anything, so again I find myself happy either way the wind blows. 

I hope this trip around the solar system has been better for everyone, though I know it hasn't for many, for far too many.  Nancy and I watched a YouTube video last night of John Lennon's song "The war is over" showing what is the truth for far too many people in the world.  That this Christmas is not a time of peace and love, but of desperation and lack.  I know I have so much to be truly, truly grateful for.  I hope I have a chance to share a little more, and in some small way, make some difference in someone's life this year.  Maybe this is one of real gifts of Christmas...knowing what our blessings are, and having the chance to share what we have somehow.   Right after understanding my sin, and my need for Jesus' redemption of my life, and then meeting those neighbors in my life that I can help, and be helped by.  Not that hard, really.   Hopefully.  

A Merry Christmas to all, those who have and have not, as much as is possible. 

Dieu benis ou, tout tan.

Dan Joshu. 

Monday, December 14, 2009

Ronid. 



can't get a picture of her to load now.  some of you know of her from last year.   Ronid has been forced to leave school, and the city of St. Marc, for her own safety.   Her mother has been accused of murdering a neighbor's baby, and the family has sworn vengeance.   For her safety, her father in law, Antonio, has taken Ronid and her two step brothers to the village out in the provice for protection.   As these things go, often times it is not as bad as it first appears, and I pray it is not this time, but the more we find out, it seems like it get's worse.   Her mother and father in law, have both apparently admitted to the judge that they are in voodoo, and that has fueled the desire for revenge from the dead baby's family.   Antonio has been released from his employment at the school, as we don't need people coming to school for their vengeance.  He has been given severance pay, and is, as stated, going to the village for safety.  There is a very real chance that Ronid may not return to school for the rest of the year, if at all.   If Antonio can't find a job, then they will live by subsistence farming in the village, and with no school there, there is a real chance she may never attend school again.   Life here is so fragile, one bad turn and whatever good you have built up vanishes and you are back to square one.   It is a real struggle for families to attain any sort of reasonable living standard, and things like this, with the associated legal costs (judges here accept bribes from both sides to decide the outcome of cases, so if you don't pay, you family member can be sent to prison for a long time.   Or, in a Haitian prison, a short time)  it is easy to fall back into a hole you can't climb out of.   It is hard to see how God works at these times, but my faith tells me He does work, and all I can do is trust Him.   I will pray for Ronid and her family, that all will come to know Jesus, and for their safety.   I hope you can also.  

Dieu benis ou

Dan Joshu

Sunday, December 13, 2009

No, I'm not dead.   Just some circumstances have made blogging less than attractive.  I went thru about a week of being very sick, not sure what it was.   I was told by someone who has had malaria 7 times it sure sounded like malaria, so I started on chloroquine.   Then it seemed to be something diferent so I went on cipro for about a week.  anyway, I couldn't eat for about a week, lost a lot of weight (again), and am just now feeling about back to par.   Also, our internet service has been very spotty,  apparently the service in the states moved from somewhere else to Virginia, so the bad weather there this month has made it more difficult to connect with their upload service.   And, I have been reading Philip Yancy's book, "What's so Amazing about Grace?".    After reading Brennan Mannings book, "The Ragamuffin Gospel", and now reading this, it seems that the whole concept of grace has taken on a new meaning in my life, it has a depth in me that never existed before, and I am grateful for that. 

As those that know me can attest, I can be a pain in the rear end at times.  I had gone thru the period of time which now appears typical of "Christian" development, where I knew everything, knew how everyone else should be, and knew they didn't know what I knew.   If only the world could have been like me.....what a place it would have been!       (ok, even I'm scared by that!).       But as I have read of grace, over and over again in Mannings book, and now Yancy's, I seem to recall that when I first came to God, grace was a natural thing.   I understood more then of my true nature than I did later.   It seems that when Jesus said we needed to be as children, He knew whereof He spoke.   As a child Christian, I had no presuppositions of the makings of my faith, and I accepted it as a gift.    As I matured (?)  I became more sure that I knew things I really didn't know, and sure that everyone not like me, well, just didn't get it!   

I remember standing in my new house, I had just bought from my pastor Steve, right next door to his house in the beautiful 'burb of Madison.    We were discussing worship and things, and I remember Steve telling me about grace.   Wonderful thing this grace, but obviously he didn't really get it, I thought.   We've got to whip these people into shape, march in order, just listen to me..........       Grace is fine, but by gosh, these people need some discipline.      Oy ve.......      

Over the next few years, I became a deacon in the church  (sorry to everyone who was deaconated by me!)
I was involved in pretty much everything as I knew I could work my way.....somewhere.    You see, as an ex Catholic, I knew that what I really needed was some of those nun's beating me again like in school.   (As an aside, I have more respect for the Catholic faith now than I have in years,  I guess grace is like that).   I became active in youth ministry.    Rufus, you need to repent on that decision!    :)       and I came to Haiti on a short term mission trip.     It seems God was not going to let go of this idiot.    Haiti got into my blood and it seemed that I had found a place to serve, and I truly know that coming to Haiti was God's will for me.   But curiously, I know more than ever, it was not for me to change others, but to be changed.    I have lived in a way most Americans wouldn't.   (really it isn't that bad here in this misison, there are others far more primitive).   I lost the "perks" of American society, the constant distractions and toys to play with.   I found myself, after all those years of living alone, living with people in a close situation that has stretched me.    And so, in this, thru reading and turning to God, I found grace.   That amazing thing I was so unwilling to give to others once I truly "knew" what it was to be Christian, has become so real to me, or at least is starting to.  

(Tony, short term missionary, working with Christelle.  She has failed 7th grade 2x in states, was sent to Haiti.  Now she is passing tests, and knows she is not a "dummy", but someone who can learn. )

There are so many opportunities to give grace, and so many more to need grace.   I think Yancy is right when he says it is the defining aspect of Christianity, of following Jesus, is giving grace and forgiveness when none is deserved.   The stories of people whose lives had been destroyed, at least in the "worldly" aspect, who found the ability to forgive and live in grace, are truly amazing, and the things that truly make Jesus alive for me more than anything.   I think God has been speaking to me, and finally, maybe, I've listened a little.   You know all the "peace and joy, blah, blah, blah......." we routinely spout as "Christians"?     Well, it seems a lot more real to me now.   Even when it seems things are not going how I would want, I have a reserve to fall back on, a place to go where I can know it really is all ok, and not because the circumstances will change.    It is ok because Jesus loves me, and I truly understand this, or am begininng to, for the first time.  I know I told some of you I would not be so spiritual this year, so please forgive me.   It seems that this is where I live here, and actually, I kind of like it.     It seems I am more free than I have ever been, and I like it.  Why, I even tasted a Haitian beer here recently, and, who knew, hellfire and brimstone didn't fall out of the sky!!!        so, life goes on in Haiti, school moves on to Christmas break, and while life isn't perfect, it seems more stable, the circumstances don't rock the boat the way it used to.   Why, Madison even seems like a place to be thankful for now!       How's that for grace?      :)

(kids practicing for Christmas play)

Dieu benis ou,

Dan