Tuesday, Aug 4, 2009

He lives!    summer is passing quickly here,  wonderful weather, rarely above the low 90's.   I am working at Wal Mart in a nearby town part time....and while the pay is a lot less than I made before, the lack of stress is an amazing benefit.   I hope to be back in Haiti this fall, maybe not until January though, for the lack of stress personally is stressful, however to my bank account!

while home I have been reading and re reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning.  love the book, written by an recovering alcoholic ex Catholic priest about grace.   It seems to me that I have limited the grace I have allowed God to show me in my life, and by doing so, limited the grace I have been willing to show others.   I have always had this thing, "...grace is wonderful and I love God for it,  but.......".      I am gradually giving up the but's (sorry!) and just accepting grace as it is.   In doing so, I find it easier to accept the lack of perfection of others, as I become more able to accept my own issues.   It seems that this truth will set you free stuff really has something to it.   Who knew?    :)

as I look at a possible return to Haiti, I think far less of what I can do in a worldly fashion to change others lives, because in reality their circumstances aren't under my control.   I realize that it is very likely everyone else on the planet understood that, but it has taken me a little time to accept it myself.   It seems to me that accepting God's grace and then sharing it with others is in a very real sense all we can really do with our lives.   The trick is to find an outlet for it.    This goes back to something I talked about this past spring, about actually living with Haitians in community and sharing life with them.   Very scary at first, not as much now (which admittedly may be because I am a few thousand miles away)  but also very real now.  it seems that the less I care about someone's circumstances, the more I can care about them personally, as a human being.    That may not be the way others are wired, but it seems to be my way.  I think I confused a person's circumstances with their life, and that appears to be two different things to me now.   God willing, I hope to be able to share that with others.

Oh, and the important part.....I have always had a music thing.   Never learned to play anything, took a few guitar lessons when young before those dreaded  "circumstances" changed.   I know think I may want to pursue the drums.....so for those close to me.....ear plugs may be advisable!

Bondye benis ou.