Saturday, May 23, 2009

the rains have slowed, today actually looks pretty sunny which is a good thing. I forget if I blogged about this but Preval was in our neighborhood looking at the flood damage. and the prevailing opinion was "that's nice", but no one really expects anything to happen, as is usual.

school is about finished. Friday we had final chapel service which was really an instruction period for the final ceremony next Friday. after the talking, we played some music and I began to think about the kids there. I don't know if I will see them again after this year, and it was tough. I have tried to put myself in a place where I don't expect much. I don't expect God to go along with my agenda, because I realize "my" agenda so often does not coincide with His...as was demonstrated with my being here this year! so if God provides the direction to return and the means, I will. If He does not and I never return, I am ok with that...at least I think I am, or I will be eventually. This summer will be an adventure just like coming here....going to a strange country with leaders who are idiots and a culture that has so many problems you can't count them. At least this time I will know the language!

as I have gotten to know the people here, not just the mission, I have begun to enter a little comfort zone. I take the kids home in the bus and if there is a problem, I know it will work out. I know enough Creole to let folks know that I don't know enough Creole. But I can struggle through most of the time. People have gotten to know that there is another blan in the neighborhood and it doesn't bother...most of them. I feel like I have grown as a teacher, which I am still not, but I understand the principles of the classroom now much better than I did when I was a student! I sort of understand some of the assumptions that the locals go by in how they deal with missionaries, and they are confusing and contradictory and....starting to make a little sense to me.

I guess, as I have blogged much about this, I have learned more about myself than anyone else. living in a 3rd world country, whatever that is, isn't the end of the world, just maybe the end of some of my presumptions, expectation and biases. It has become very real to me that not having constant internet, power, water, mobility, freedom, entertainment, etc., does not mean the end of the world. I guess I am comfortable enough in this life, and see many actual benefits of the simpler life, that I am relinquishing my need to have the world conform to me and gaining an little bit of ability of conforming to it. You see, it isn't mine. and that has become very real to me.

Kesmy will graduate next Friday, and move on with his life in the US, if all plans work out. He will be living in Michigan and his life will take a huge turn...however it goes. I don't assume that living in the US is any better now than anywhere else. The "comforts" are there but so much else is not. I pray that Kesmy will not be taken in by the "stuff" and stay true, as so many of us have struggled with. Next week there is school on Monday, beach day on Tuesday, Wednesday class (more rehearsal for final), Thursday off and Friday morning the ceremony. The Wednesday after that I come home. I know it is now feasible for everyone, but if you get a chance to see a place like Haiti, or spend more than a little time doing it, do it because whatever sacrifice you may make for it is worth it. I will never view the world the same way again. I can't because I know there are people "out there" who are a lot like me...sorry for them. And they are my brothers and sisters who have needs and can teach me things. I guess I finally get that part down deep, like I never did before.

Bondye benis ou.

no, pictures still won't load.