Ups and downs

it's Sunday a.m., and I continue to struggle w/sinus problems and coughing. it is getting better (I think) so this appears to be just another lesson in patience. I sit here munching on an apple and contemplating Haiti and the new lessons I learn each day. Winston Churchill once said of Russia it is "a riddle wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma". I think he should have visited Haiti first! I hear so many stories of the unbending culture here. "...this is how we do it in Haiti..." seems to be the mantra. There seems to be little thought as to if it is possible to improve things, it must be done the Haitian way. Period. Another period. I know people who have brought new and better ways to make bricks and concrete, and more sanitary ways to process animal meats in a butcher shop, and people just completely reject them. Gary today told me a story of someone who took over a meat market who had a steamer that cleaned the bacteria and outside skin of the animals to make them cleaner and safer to work with. And the people would not touch the meat. they would take the pork, for example, and roll in around in ashes on both sides from a fire on the ground to blacken the skin first, THEN eat the meat. after rolling it around on the ground. because they didn't like it sanitized. I realize there are cultural differences in every society but Haiti seems to have an OVERWHELMING spirit of rebellion in it. It is their way or no way, and changing or improving the culture really isn't even in the thought process much. Now, everyone please take this in the spirit it is intended. I realize my culture has many flaws also, and I can't figure out how to fix them either. I am not an expert; I have been here total in my life a couple of months now. But listening to the other missionaries here and observing the culture leads to some obvious conclusions. At least for me. The first is that Haitians really want life to be better for themselves and their children. The second is that they don't want to change anything to achieve that goal. I guess that helps me focus on what is in front of me-kids in school. I hope to have some impact on them, HOPEFULLY positive! :)

Both Gary and Al, who was here all year last year, have spoken about the attitude towards the white missionaries they see now. They feel that the attitude is much more aggressive and much less friendly now than it was even last year. Both have pointed to the need of the people after the hurricanes. It makes it more difficult to engage even in the limited times I am out. At the same time I have 2x in the last week been walking the short distance from home to the school, and had a man and a woman answer me in English my broken Haitian of "bon jou". both with wonderful smiles and very friendly attitudes. Is it possible that Haiti is the worlds largest psychology experiment, designed specifically for missionaries just to pull their chains? :) Ok, I'm not that paranoid. It does present a lot of things to think about though. I rethink the things I assumed were always true or right some times. Not moral stuff, but culture stuff. It is ok for another culture to be different, obviously there are lots of people who think the US is......different. I want to make sure I give to each person I meet the right to be themselves w/o my judging them personally. But I see the overall culture as self defeating, IMHO. Jessica Mauldin, a missionary here from southern Indiana, is a 25? year old who has been to Haiti 3x's now, to Nicaragua 2x, and to Africa 2x. pretty amazing kid. she told me that she saw some rating of the countries in the America's for something, poverty, lack of opportunity, something. and the last two countries on the list were Nicaragua and then lastly Haiti. She has been to both places and she says Nic. is 2 levels above Haiti on the Jessica scale. it is cleaner, better roads, etc. Haiti just kind of stands out by itself. So I guess I'll just focus on what is in front of me, be the best teacher I can, share my faith and beliefs with those who want to hear, and leave the rest to God. I feel better about it now. I think He is far more capable of dealing with this place than I am. Having a coughing fit now, so will sign off and continue the adventure later. bye for now. blessings to everyone.