Oct 7, 2008

the more I learn about Haiti, it's culture and people, the less I know about it. It seems I had this small box of acceptable understandings about Haiti. and as I learn more, the box expands in random directions...exponentially to what I learn. so therefore the more I learn, the less I know, the farther I am from "understanding" which I have been assured will never happen fully. People are so selfish, yet so giving, depending on the circumstances. I guess that is like many people. People can be so friendly, yet I am told they can turn on you in a second. I learned of a Haitian proverb, from Tara Livesay and her blog. it says "people don't trust people since Guinea". the meaning is that the people know that they were sold into slavery by the ancestors in Africa. so they trust no one. and the lack of trust is so destructive. the issues pertain to local, smaller matters also. one of my students has serious difficulty doing basic math. such as "2/3 of a minute is given to a particular excercise. how much of the minute is left?" and I explain it 9 different ways, covering every conceivable (to me) option to help him understand. and maybe it will come and maybe it won't. this student is almost 20 years old. I wonder how I can do him any good, yet I am encouraged to keep trying and maybe that is the answer. keep going regardless of the outcomes, as the outcome is really in God's hands anyway isn't it? if you know you are here for a reason, just keep going. maybe the trust issue is my own. dontcha really hate it when it comes around back to you??? :) I guess the real change I will engeder here is probably my own, kind of like worship, does it benefit me or God? well if God could be benefitted by my worship, then He was lacking something before and that is a scary thought. so I guess I benefit by growing closer to God and losing some of myself. as I work here I guess I have to forget what "good" I may do for others as I will likely do little. but the "good" done to me may be substantial, as I learn and grow and give up control of my life.

we are going to Port tomorrow, hopefully for an eventful day. the trip is really bad so I hope something good comes of it. about 5-6 hours of really bad roads there and back. but I may come back with more clothes!!!! and goodies from the Caribbean store!!! worth the effort, I say. I am getting used to the rice and beans here, but a little variety does WONDERS for morale. who knew junk food has such power?? looking out from the balcony here, it is still strange to see people just pee anywhere. they will usually go to the side of the road, but still! and it's not just men! that's what I mean about the more I learn the less I know. good think I was a single guy so long, at least I am used to....single guy stuff. we are used to most things that gross out regular people. Hail single guys!!! :) If my posts seem repetitive, it probably means I am stuck on somethin and just have not found the right words to clear it out of my head. suggestions are welcomed. for instance if anyone wants to know what eating goat at a Haitian restaraunt is like, I can detail the experience for you. things like that. feel free to suggest a post, I am sure it would probably be more interesting that what I can come up with. everyone have a good day, bye for now.